NPR's Top 100 Science Fiction & Fantasy Books

Bold means I finished it. Italics means in progress, or started and one day intend to finish, or, for longer series, some read/some not. Red means I started and have no intention of finishing.

1. The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy, by J.R.R. Tolkien
2. The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, by Douglas Adams
3. Ender's Game, by Orson Scott Card
4. The Dune Chronicles, by Frank Herbert
5. A Song Of Ice And Fire Series, by George R. R. Martin
6. 1984, by George Orwell
7. Fahrenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury
8. The Foundation Trilogy, by Isaac Asimov
9. Brave New World, by Aldous Huxley
10. American Gods, by Neil Gaiman
11. The Princess Bride, by William Goldman
12. The Wheel Of Time Series, by Robert Jordan
13. Animal Farm, by George Orwell
14. Neuromancer, by William Gibson
15. Watchmen, by Alan Moore
16. I, Robot, by Isaac Asimov
17. Stranger In A Strange Land, by Robert Heinlein
18. The Kingkiller Chronicles, by Patrick Rothfuss
19. Slaughterhouse-Five, by Kurt Vonnegut
20. Frankenstein, by Mary Shelley
21. Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?, by Philip K. Dick
22. The Handmaid's Tale, by Margaret Atwood
23. The Dark Tower Series, by Stephen King
24. 2001: A Space Odyssey, by Arthur C. Clarke
25. The Stand, by Stephen King
26. Snow Crash, by Neal Stephenson
27. The Martian Chronicles, by Ray Bradbury
28. Cat's Cradle, by Kurt Vonnegut
29. The Sandman Series, by Neil Gaiman
30. A Clockwork Orange, by Anthony Burgess
31. Starship Troopers, by Robert Heinlein
32. Watership Down, by Richard Adams
33. Dragonflight, by Anne McCaffrey
34. The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress, by Robert Heinlein
35. A Canticle For Leibowitz, by Walter M. Miller
36. The Time Machine, by H.G. Wells
37. 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea, by Jules Verne
38. Flowers For Algernon, by Daniel Keys
39. The War Of The Worlds, by H.G. Wells
40. The Chronicles Of Amber, by Roger Zelazny
41. The Belgariad, by David Eddings
42. The Mists Of Avalon, by Marion Zimmer Bradley
43. The Mistborn Series, by Brandon Sanderson
44. Ringworld, by Larry Niven
45. The Left Hand Of Darkness, by Ursula K. LeGuin
46. The Silmarillion, by J.R.R. Tolkien
47. The Once And Future King, by T.H. White
48. Neverwhere, by Neil Gaiman
49. Childhood's End, by Arthur C. Clarke
50. Contact, by Carl Sagan
51. The Hyperion Cantos, by Dan Simmons
52. Stardust, by Neil Gaiman
53. Cryptonomicon, by Neal Stephenson
54. World War Z, by Max Brooks
55. The Last Unicorn, by Peter S. Beagle
56. The Forever War, by Joe Haldeman
57. Small Gods, by Terry Pratchett
58. The Chronicles Of Thomas Covenant, The Unbeliever, by Stephen R. Donaldson
59. The Vorkosigan Saga, by Lois McMaster Bujold
60. Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett
61. The Mote In God's Eye, by Larry Niven & Jerry Pournelle
62. The Sword Of Truth, by Terry Goodkind
63. The Road, by Cormac McCarthy
64. Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell, by Susanna Clarke
65. I Am Legend, by Richard Matheson
66. The Riftwar Saga, by Raymond E. Feist
67. The Shannara Trilogy, by Terry Brooks
68. The Conan The Barbarian Series, by R.E. Howard
69. The Farseer Trilogy, by Robin Hobb
70. The Time Traveler's Wife, by Audrey Niffenegger
71. The Way Of Kings, by Brandon Sanderson
72. A Journey To The Center Of The Earth, by Jules Verne
73. The Legend Of Drizzt Series, by R.A. Salvatore
74. Old Man's War, by John Scalzi
75. The Diamond Age, by Neil Stephenson
76. Rendezvous With Rama, by Arthur C. Clarke
77. The Kushiel's Legacy Series, by Jacqueline Carey
78. The Dispossessed, by Ursula K. LeGuin
79. Something Wicked This Way Comes, by Ray Bradbury
80. Wicked, by Gregory Maguire
81. The Malazan Book Of The Fallen Series, by Steven Erikson
82. The Eyre Affair, by Jasper Fforde
83. The Culture Series, by Iain M. Banks
84. The Crystal Cave, by Mary Stewart
85. Anathem, by Neal Stephenson
86. The Codex Alera Series, by Jim Butcher
87. The Book Of The New Sun, by Gene Wolfe
88. The Thrawn Trilogy, by Timothy Zahn
89. The Outlander Series, by Diana Gabaldan
90. The Elric Saga, by Michael Moorcock
91. The Illustrated Man, by Ray Bradbury
92. Sunshine, by Robin McKinley
93. A Fire Upon The Deep, by Vernor Vinge
94. The Caves Of Steel, by Isaac Asimov
95. The Mars Trilogy, by Kim Stanley Robinson
96. Lucifer's Hammer, by Larry Niven & Jerry Pournelle
97. Doomsday Book, by Connie Willis
98. Perdido Street Station, by China Mieville
99. The Xanth Series, by Piers Anthony
100. The Space Trilogy, by C.S. Lewis

Hey, a Tussle!

Been away for a while.

Tomorrow is "Thanksgiving Eve", which in the bar business is the busiest night of the year. It is also the the night with the greatest potential for trouble. So, in that spirit, here's part 1 of my long-awaited discussion of bar fights.

Rule #1 Avoid them.
Seriously. They suck. Sounds a little simplistic, but allow me to go into a little more detail. A bar is not a boxing ring, dojo or whatever kind of place you may or may not have learned to fight.
It will be a slippery surface, likely sprinkled with broken glass and packed full of people who will not appreciate being involved and are most likely not thinking all that clearly.
This may mean you will get pushed away, punched from behind, hit with a bottle or in extreme cases hit with a chair, stabbed or shot.
It's not some sort of playground scuffle, it can be be honest to goodness life-or-death.

Rule #2 Get the hell out of the way.
If there's a bouncer, and for the purpose of this discussion we'll assume there is, he's either right in the middle of things or about to come running through the crowd. Let Him. He can't break up the fight until he can get to the actual combatants and having to pull "helpful" bystanders out of the way just slows things down. If you're not involved, get out of the damn way.

Rule #3 Don't make things worse.
This means, no shouting abuse at either party or the bouncer. Don't try and stop the bouncer with words like "I've got him, don't worry" or worse "don't touch my friend!". You don't have him and we will touch him. If we have to deal with you as well, so be it. If you had any control or good judgment you would've prevented the whole mess from starting.


Rule #4 Don't hit the bouncer
This is an important one, for many reasons. First, we're not getting paid to prove we're "tough guys". We don't want to hurt or harm anyone. (yes, there is a very important difference between those two words) 99% of the time, we'll pull the fools apart and throw some out the front door. If there's a back door, some go that way. If not, they will be held inside until the first batch goes away. This is to prevent the fight form continuing outside. It bothers the neighbors and through a quirk in the law, if the fight is within 50 yards of the bar, it can still be fined.
But, as I was saying, don't hit us. It can cause things to escalate very rapidly. While we don't get paid to be "tough guys" we also don't get paid nearly enough to allow some fool to use us as a punching bag. We also have the "home field advantage". Odds are at any given time there are around 15-25% of the patrons who will jump in to the fray at this point. Also, the bouncers will stop using "soft" techniques and begin using "hard" ones. Once we're fighting to defend ourselves a different mindset comes into play. This can mean anything from hauling back and punching someone in the nose, to a professionally applied choke hold (my favorite), to a collapsable baton, stun gun, blackjack or pepper spray.


It won't end well.



to be continued

Back agian

Major illnesses suck. Month-long hospital stays suck. Long recovery periods suck. Finally going back to work feels good....for about a week. Then it sucks.

Once you're inside

SO, you've managed to get into the bar. Lets assume legally, so you're starting with a “clean slate”, so to speak.

Rule 1 (and the only rule that matters) – Don't be a jerk. Sounds simple, right? Well, it should be, but this is 21^st century America, and in particular, New York City, so there's a bit more to it than that. This is not a frat party, so try to avoid frat-rat behavior. This includes stupid-ass drinking contests, pushing and shoving, mock-fighting and associated asshole-ish activities. This is also not your private clubhouse. You don't get to choose who comes in. We, the staff, do that. This means no causing problems because you don't like someones skin tone. This can also mean a particular cultural group, for example Guidos. Now take note, this has nothing to do with being of Italian ethnicity, it's a cultural thing. It most often involves short, gel-spiked hair (The Brooklyn or Staten Island Hedgehog), gold chains, tweezed eyebrows, pseudo-tribal tattoos, Ed Hardy, Affliction, UFC, or Eko shirts worn unbuttoned over “wife-beater” tee shirts and too many viewings of The Sopranos. These wonderful specimens tend to flock to Manhattan clubs, the Bay Ridge section of Brooklyn, and the South Shore of Staten Island. Where, if there they remained, there would be less of a problem.

They don't mix well with other types of crowds.

You're in a bar, full of people who're consuming mind-altering substances-mostly alcohol, but not always. You will be bumped, have your toe stepped on, and people will “look at you”

Accept it. If you are lucky enough to be there with an attractive date, people will be “looking at her/him”. Take it as a complement. They're going home with you, right? So why worry? If you're that insecure or you're date is likely to be “swept off her/his feet” by someone the meet while on a date with you...well, maybe you should stick to dinner and/or a movie until you're ready for the advanced class.

If you do wind up having a problem with someone, and this may be through no fault of your own, you have only a few options. First-Try to avoid them. The place is probably big enough to simply keep your distance. Staying close and exchanging “eye-fucks” will not end well, I assure you. Another option is leave. Seriously, just leave. Is the prospect of a brawl honestly worth sticking around? Now, I know I'm older that the majority of patrons, and my outlook is jaundiced by virtue of my job, but is it really worth it? Now, if you happen to be young and/or stupid and hanging out with a bunch of other young/stupid types you may have concerns regarding your “rep”. Grow up. I have news for you, in a couple of years, assuming you survive your young/stupid phase, NO ONE will care. Not you, nor any of the people you associated with during said period. This is via a process known as Growing Up. I highly recommend it. You can go and mention your problem to a staff member, but this is usually beyond the intellectual and emotional reach of most patrons. Unless you're a regular, you're probably going to worry about that “rep” I mentioned earlier, and skip right past this option. Leading to the final, and most commonly chosen option, Escalation. This is a process involving dirty looks (aka. “eye-fucks), reciprocal bumps and shoves, “trash-talking” and usually ending with shouting, shoving and a punch.

Next: “Hey, a tussle!”

Musings on being a smart patron...

So, here's a few basic tips on bar/club behavior:

Getting in-If there's a line, shut up and wait. We're not making you wait outside because we're enjoying a little power trip. Odds are the place is at, or over legal capacity and it's just too damn crowded. Yes, we're “serious” when we say you'll have to wait. And no, we can't just let a couple in.

It's never “just a couple” and the jerk-offs behind you are just going to try the same shit and make our live more miserable. Too bad about it being cold, raining, windy, whatever...we're standing outside as well and we're not blind.

Now, in some places, such as higher-end clubs, the doorman-who is different from a bouncer-has a certain criteria about admittance. This may depend on dress, demeanor, level of obnoxiousness, or willingness to slip him a few dollars. Usually this will be about $10-20 EACH, not total. Suck it up and deal with it, or go away. Life isn't fair and as long as there's no obvious racial bias, the place can let in or exclude whomever it feels like. Be aware that there are almost certainly cameras trained on the entrance, so being loud, obvious or an asshole will not help you.

If you're waiting in line, do something useful, like getting your damn ID out of your purse, wallet or bundle of crap you keep wrapped with a rubber band (also known as a Staten Island wallet). You're going to need it eventually and making us wait while you fumble for it isn't going to win you points. It's also a good idea not to fumble with you wallet if you were dumb enough to leave your real ID in plain sight. We're watching what you do and a mismatched ID or refusal to show us the other means “bye-bye”.

If you don't have your ID, go away. You MAY be able to convince the guy working the door to make an exception, but don't count on it. There are a lot of variables in place-His mood, Your attitude and demeanor, etc. If you know you have a problem, don't wait until you're standing up front and trying to fast talk your way in. Come up to us beforehand, ask to speak with us off to the side, BE HONEST. We've probably been doing this for years and are pretty good at smelling bullshit. If you think the bouncer's open to the idea, mention “doing the right thing”- in other words, paying him off. This will not work a good portion of the time, but you've got a hell of a lot better chance doing it subtlety and politely than if you stand at the head of the line loudly asking “So how much you want?!?”. This will get you and your friends told to fuck off, at best.

Doormen have a slightly different skill set than the typical bouncer, and among them the ability to spot fake or altered ID's ranks high. If the ID's expired, don't try the “I lost my current one”, “I don't bring my valid one out 'cause I'm afraid to lose it”, “I got a DWI and it was revoked”, etc. We're not buying it. If it's expired, if even a day, it's invalid. We might make an exception for about a month, due to the general nature of the DMV, but again, don't count on it. If it was lost, well, sucks to be you. If it was revoked, no excuse not to have a non-driver's ID-costs all of $15 here in NY.

We also don't care if you we here last week, last night, or every day last month. That was then, this is now. Things change, such as the likely hood of a police raid-which we often know about ahead of time, the number and nature of the last few “incidents” and the general mood of the doorman. Deal with it or go away.

Be aware that we're pretty damn good at spotting a fake ID. Using one with any of several common commercial holographic seal is an immediate tip-off. NO, I'm not saying which ones, just accept the fact that a holographic seal isn't a guarantee. We also make it point to know which types of fakes are being churned out at any local colleges. Don't argue with us. It will just piss us off and then we'll probably take your ID away. Sure, we're not supposed to, but what are you going to do? Call the police and say “The mean doorman took my fake ID”? Good luck with that one. Worst case, we get told to hand it to the nice officer and you get arrested for possession of a forged document, or if it's one of the nice, stiff plastic ones, we may just snap it in half.

Oops.

-part 2 “once you're inside”

Bouncing 101

SO, I work as a bouncer. I do this 3-4 nights a week and it's my major source of income, so I take my job seriously. Now, I have people come up to me frequently and ask about becoming a bouncer.
Well, here's a few tidbits of hard learned truth.

First, forget 99.99% of what you think you know about it. We're not all 'roided-up gym rats who are just itching to demonstrate out latest super-ninja/ultimate fighter death moves. Most of us are just normal guys, trying to make a little extra cash by renting out ourselves as the buffer between drunken, often violent bar patrons and everyone else in the bar.
Now, most of us are on the large size, 'cause it can help to be a little intimidating, and most of us have some background in physical confrontations. This can be formal martial arts, training as former (or current) law enforcement or just plain experience in street fighting. The truth is, that it's better to be a good communicator who's willing to take the time and defuse a situation before it turns violent. That's why I prefer, without exception, to work with guys who are over 30 yrs old. They've generally had time to work out the youthful testosterone poisoning and be able to look at is nothing personal.
Now, I hate to quote a line from Road House but amidst all the horse shit in that film is one pearl of perfect wisdom "It's a job. It's nothing personal". We watch the crowd, we study peoples body language and facial expressions and we try like hell to see trouble coming before it starts.
Once a fight breaks out, all that's left is damage control. Try to get them separated, get them outside-whenever possible via different exits, and get the night back on track. The bar/club exists for the sole purpose of providing an environment in which the owners can separate you from your money, and if you're worried about your safety, you'll just find somewhere else to do your drinking.

This is bad for business, and bosses love to point fingers and we're at the bottom of the pile.

We are, almost without exception, the lowest paid employees in any bar or club. It's just the way it is. Now, this is mostly due to the fact that we don't recieve tips, neither directly or a a portion of the bartender's nightly tips.

Objectively, this is a good thing, as we should have NO vested interest in allowing more people into the bar, especially if they're "wrong" in some way...no or fake ID's, already drunk or beligerent, etc.

But again, it's a balancing act. Too few customers and the owner's will downsize the staff-beginning with us. Too many problems resulting from being too leinient at the door, also justification for a staff shake-up. A real Catch-22.

Now, in theory, it'd be nice if the bartenders gave up a little thank you every night, regardless of the crowd, not a percentage, but just say a nice $20-50. as a thank you. After all, we're not the ones who can be sued for serving an obvious drunk who gets in his car and runs into a van full of nuns, nor are we going to get a summons or arrested for serving a minor....we didn't serve them, the bartender did. We keep that from happening, but the 20-yr old kid who helps stock the bar and bus tables will often leave with double what we make on any given night.

Next I'll go into patron-bouncer interactions, and all the fun ways they can go to hell in a heartbeat.....

In the Beginning.....

Ok, so a bit pretentious, but this really is my very first post on my very first Blog, so if you'll allow me a bit of ego...
Anyway, why Blog?
Well, that's not a simple question for me to answer. I don't pretend that what I say will interest 99.999% of the population and everyone else will most likely never even find me.
I'm well aware that I'm far behind the curve when it comes to blogging, so I don't imagine that I'll be breaking any new ground or in general doing anything revolutionary.
What this blog will be is a place for me to write about things that "click" with me. They may be amusing or infuriating, but they will, in some way , matter to me.
Maybe something I write will strike a chord with one of you out there, maybe not, but that's not really the point. At best, I'll give you something to think about for a little while.
That'd be just fine with me.